(By Hoi Nguyen)

I would like to thank master Minh Chau who came to pray for Cecilia at the last minutes of her life and pray for Cecilia for these last two days at the funeral , master Hue Son ,and the group of prayers of Phuoc Thanh Temple, numerous doctors, nurses, organizations, Bindy, doctor Edwards - Ceci’s God mother, uncles Quang, Thong, An from Cali, aunt Yen come from South Carolina, Sarah from Wisconsin,  David - Ceci’s guardian Angel, family members, and people who supported, helped, cared, loved, and  gave Cecilia happy times, good times  and stayed with our  family in the most difficult time of our life

 

Hi , Cecilia

You were so beautiful. When you were born the nurse told me your daughter’s birthday is 1,2,3. It means you were born in month January; day 02 and year 2003. You were named after the nun who was your mom’s high school teacher- Cecilia. You were so pretty, so smart, generous, brave and had a good heart. You had the questions that nobody could figure out the answers,” Why me? Why do I get cancer, why do I have to go from doctor to doctor and have to go from hospital to hospital”.

Cecilia ,you were so beautiful. People love you because you were so pretty: your face, your smile, and your body. You had a full happy life on your face. Your smile was so bright of life like the sun shine in the morning. You were the sun shine of my life, and you had  a good behavior, you got along well with everybody, and  other kids. Therefore, many people liked you, loved you. Your cousins: Thi, Chau, Mark and Sarah liked to invite you to go camping, picnic, eat out, and birthday parties. Uncle Bang invited you to go on vacation with his family. you got along well with Lanvy and Kaitlin. Your friends, your teachers, your doctors, your nurses loved you. Your neighbor loved you. You were full of energy on your body and had a pretty smile. Your aunt, Ly said” who don’t love Cecilia”. Furthermore, you were a so smart kid.

 Cecilia, you were a smart kid; Many doctors came to ask you what was your problems. You told them every details of the beginning up to now, names of medication and date of treatments. You remembered the names of every nurses and doctors who toke care of you. They liked you, admired your smartness and said they would like you to be their assistant, or work in the lab for them. Also many nurses loved you, they said you are a smart kid, and mature.

 I remember we were driving to NIH for treatment, when I missed the exit to NIH. You turned on your cell phone with one hand, and turned on the GPS and got to the local road direction. Another time, when we finished an appointment at NIH, you wanted stop by the Smash Burger in Bethesda, we had to park on the street and paid the parking meter. While we were eating burger, your mom concerned about the time left on the parking meter. You said “give me the receipt“. You looked for the time on the receipt to figure out how much time was left on the paring meter.

Cecilia , you were generous and had good heart. You donated blood, your tumor, and volunteered to participate in the research trial so doctors and science could find new medicines and therapies to cure cancer in the future. Also you shared your diagnoses to science news.

Furthermore, you talked to counselor in your school Rocky Run to organize a  Hat Drive event, to collect hats for cancer children. Unfortunately, you couldn’t go to school to finish the project but the Rocky Run School’s counselor promised to finish Hat Driver project

After the first treatment you wanted a dog, You found the dog in Fairfax animal shelter and named him is Oreo, because he is black and white. You loved Oreo as your best friend. You bought gifts for Oreo everywhere you went. You accepted pain, and agreed to go home stay one night with Oreo before you went to John Hopkin for surgery

You were brave, suffering, tolerant, and angry. You have been on this illness for 3 and half years, You had gone through too much pain. First chemo treatment, you lost the upper part of your right leg. then lung surgery, then second chemo treatment, lost the upper part of your left hand. then you got T-Cell treatment at NIH which did not work and lost your left arm, then you took  Drug LPX at NIH for a month, which did not work either.

On each treatment, you had tolerated many site effects, such as hair lost, nausea, lost of appetize, stomach pain, pain in the body, change color of your hair.

Cecilia, you were so beautiful, smart, tolerant, brave. You endured things that no other 13 years girl like you could do.

Cecilia, I could not figure out why you got cancer, how, and why you had to go through pain and endure sufferings for three and half years, and went from doctors to doctors and went from hospitals to hospitals. We went to Fairfax children hospital, National Children Hospital in DC, NIH, John Hopkin in Baltimore, and Memorial Sloan Kettering in New York but you did not get better. That why you were scared and tired of going to see doctors and hospitals. You went to hospital for treatments and you did not like hospital beds and hospital food. You ate your mom’s home-made food. You slept on the couch, whenever you were discharge you went home. It did not matter 1 or 2 in the morning.

Cecilia, I remember your expressions: “I want to be a normal kid”. “I hate my life”. “Why me?”. “If you know this, you would not have brought me to this world”.

Cecilia, I know you wanted to be normal kid and go to go school. You went to school as much as you could. You went school with no hair; You went school with a limping leg, and you went school with no arm. You went shopping with one arm, and you ate in the restaurants with one arm. No kid at Rocky Run School could do what you did. Teachers, counselors, social worker s, principal love you because you were so brave and smart kid.

Last 3 and half years, cancer has kept biting you. You were in pain, suffering more than happy. You had hoped to live a kid life. You accepted the lost of a part of your leg to get a normal life, but you didn’t. You had a lung surgery to get a better health, but you didn’t get it. Then you lost a part of your left arm to hope cancer was gone. Then it came back. And you lost your left arm to hope to get a life to live. Now, you are gone. It is not fair. People lose some thing to get at least one thing. But you did not. It is not fair, it is not normal. Why?. Why do you get cancer? And how do you get cancer?. And we are living in the modern country with hi technologies, well-educated doctors and scientists. Kids like you get cancer, keep suffering pain, losing part of body then their lives. Why? Last month , Mrs. Beech’s son  passed away, now Cecilia and tomorrow would be another kid. We are lack of responsibilities, and guilty to our children. We bring them to this world but we cannot save them when they are sick. Cecilia, we bring you to this world with the hope for you to be a normal kid. You would graduate high school, graduate college, have a job, have a family, and have kids . Then you would take care of me and bury me. Now I am burying you at 13 years old. It is not normal Cecilia.

The most difficult thing in my life was watching you suffering, enduring pain, and getting weaker without hope.

You were like a flower bud, it got picked. It is not normal, Cecilia

When you were diagnosed cancer. I told your uncle Cong who looked at your first image of Fairfax Radiology. I said I would die for you If god took me. Our family prays Buda every night; your mon goes vegetarian since you were diagnosed. She have donated platelet every two week, we donate money to many cancer organizations. I went vegetarian for 6 days a month, you and your sister went vegetarian 4 days a month, your mon bought crickets to release them to get blessing. And many things we did in hope that you would get better.

You adopted Oreo in Fairfax Animal shelter, You named your dog Oreo because he is sweet ,and smart like you. Now, you are gone. It is not normal, Cecilia

I love you, I will take care of Oreo as I take care of you.

You were frustrated, angry. You lost many things in your life. You could not going school, you sat at the window, saw kids go to school and the school buses stopping by, you lost friends, you lost your abilities, and you lost your mobility.

Last three and half years, your life was miserable, crying more than laugh, painful more happy

A mother carries a fetus for nine months and gives birth, does not endure as much pain and does not suffer as much as you did. A newly born baby does not cry as much as you did.

You are a part of my life. You are hurt, I am hurt, you are happy, I am happy.

I am so happy and proud of you since the day you were born January, the second, year 2003. Nurse told me your birthday was easy to remember 1,2,3. And we bought a Toyota minivan on that year. You grew up fast. You attended Centreville Element School. Then you attended the Rocky Run middle school. You were always happy, smart kid. Besides, you learned ballet lessons, swimming classes, piano classes. You went through easily. You got many awards at school and piano classes.

I remember our family had many good times, and happy times together. Niagara fall vacation in Canada, we had raincoats on and walked under the fall, we were on the boat in the river. Vacation at Disney World with uncle Bang family and Hanah. Vacation in the North Carolina beach with everybody in the family, with grandpa and grandma too. Vacation in California, we went Disney land, Hollywood. Vacation in Florida key islands on the Christmas. You and your sister swam with dolphin

You were a smart girl, independent. You liked to take care of yourself and helped the family when ever needed. You learned on you tube, you made food yourself, you made salad dressing, you cooked pizza. You were a problem solver in the house. You assembled shoes cabinet bought at IKIA by yourself easily. You were smart, happy and got along with everybody. You adapted in any situation. Everybody loved you.

We lost you, our family have a big lost

The Rocky Run Middle School lost a good student.

The country lost a talent

Now, you are gone. My life is as the day without the sun.

Cecilia, three and half years, you tolerated pain and lost many things in your life. But the last moment of your life, you had a normal life, a happy life. You were happy, you drank water, Slurpee. You talked, and prayed, was awake, saw your sister Valerie, your cousin Diane, your aunts Hanah, Yen and your mom your dad, and the monk came to prayed for you, and we were all beside you at the last moment of your life at home. This moment was the happiest of human life that nobody could have as you do.

There were many people have come to visit you at the funeral, and sent the condolences to you. Your teachers, your counselors, your principal, your friends, your doctors, your nurse, your physical therapy, and many people who know you. You have touched people hearts. Nobody could have these moments as you do.

"Cecilia"

Celia, you're breaking my heart,

I wish you would come home

Now you are far away

 

Now, you are rest, peace, and happy in the heaven.

You see grandfather, grandmother, and aunts

And can go further

 

We are missing you, our family and everybody remember you. The kids are in the kindergarten count 1, 2, 3,. The student in the college count 1, 2,3. People work in the lab count 1,2,3.  The runner count 1,2,3 Those miracle numbers are your birthday. Cecilia is so beautiful .We all love you, miss you, and you are in everybody’s heart, Cecilia.

​

(By Valerie Nguyen)

My sister’s favorite color was blue. Anything from blue raspberry slurpees from 7/11 to blue stripes my sister loved it all especially Carolina blue for her dream college UNC Chapel Hill.  I see the world in so much color, more than just hues of blue. Everything has a touch of light because Cecilia was on this earth. I feel her spirit and her kindred soul with every step that I take. She ignites as fire within me that only roars louder to touch the world like she did. She was more than just my sister, but my best friend. Although the hole in my heart will never truly be filled, all the memories that we cherished will be in my heart for eternity and I am honored that she gave me more than I could’ve ever asked for on this earth. My sister was a big part of my life and I never feel complete without speaking of her.  

With that being said, I would like to share all of the wisdom that she gave me in hopes that she too will live within your hearts.  To start, never take the little things in life for granted. In retrospect, it’s all the little moments together that become the most important overall. So, every once in awhile put down that homework or come home from work a little bit earlier and to do something with your loved ones. I promise you every moment counts and whether it is good or bad it is something to be able to remember. Secondly, always be grateful. Regardless of any situation that you are in always look for the light in the dark. My sister was the bright star in my dark night sky and a couple of days ago, I could not fathom my life without her.  Even today it seems all surreal. However, I am grateful that she was part of my life and that she gave me the best 13 years while she was on this earth. Although my family and I struggled a lot on this journey, I am thankful that it brought us all close together. Most importantly, it taught us to really listen to understand and not to respond because the best things in life are the ones that are unspoken. Finally, always smile, even on a rainy day. There is so much goodness in this world. It’s horrific that something as terrible as a loss has caused me to realize that even though this earth is a dark place, there is always light in the most unexpected corners. My family and I have been overwhelmed with so much love and support during our hardest time and the word blessed cannot even begin to explain our gratitude.

I want to close with this. “It’s not about the years in your life but rather the life in your years”. My sister gave me all the life that I will ever need, all the memories that will be engraved in my head, and all the laughter that could’ve ever bring me joy on any given day. She gave me the world in such little time. All along she was my greatest gift, she taught me more than any textbook or any professor could ever about life. My sister’s favorite color was blue and the skies are still blue so now I am no longer feeling blue because I know she is always with me.